The Struggle

It's as though the whole world is against you,
Planting a thousand tiny barbs along
The path you choose to walk, mocking your true
And noble purpose, saying you are wrong
To take a chance, wrong to be different.
They weigh you down with burdens and with shame
And every day finds a new torment
That you fight and bind and finally tame.
For while your heart beats you will not be through
The fire inside you will forever burn.
So yes, the whole world may be against you,
That just means the world has a lot to learn.
     You will succeed when all is said and done
     Because you are a fucking champion.

July 17, 2008

When I was feral, I was set apart
Without the hold of civilization
I had no way to fill my empty heart.
No friends, no lovers, no congregation
To welcome me. And so I let them strap
A yoke upon my back and found rapport
With those who shared the space inside our trap
Hid my differences 'till they were no more.
The tamed me, like I told myself they should...
Until the day I saw towering flame
Created by those souls that understood
I can be close without being the same
     Now I flaunt my differences, unashamed.
     I'm not just feral, I have been untamed.

The Call

So about last night, let me just explain--
I was walking upside down across this
Filmstrip of E. Marie Saint in a plain
Fur coat and fig leaf, describing pure bliss
To an increasingly bright audience.
I wept openly at the pure beauty
Of a smile shared between strangers, left prints
Of my right pinky toe all over the
Grand statue of the old patriarchy
And around the time I was conversing
With two chalk gods the future said that we
Really needed to call you, coercing
     Me into singing "we should copulate"
     ...I'm sorry I woke you so very late.

Failing Grade

I'm swimming in the shallow end, trying
To keep my head above water. Kicking
And flailing in stark terror, near crying
Ad the idea that by simply sticking
My feet down I will touch the soft bottom
And save myself from a death by drowning.
But instead I continue to succumb
To the still, silent waters now crowning
My head. Oh all I want to do is scream
For help, to call out to the crowded shore
And find my friends forming a rescue team,
To prove that I am one that they adore.
     But I won't call, because I feel such shame.
     I did this to myself, to test my name.

Saturday Morning, Flipside

So,
I got really fucked up at this party
And woke up the next morning with my arms
Around my love. The previous night we
We pilots, navigating past alarms
Faster than the speed of light, holding on
To each other as we danced and kissed and
Shared with a thousand other bright young fawns
Of midnight a moment to understand.
As I lie there in the morning, alone
And holding no one else, I opened my
Eyes and knew--I'm in love. I am my own.
And now, when I look myself in the eye
     I can see what many hide on the shelf,
     I am worthy of love. I love myself.

Change of Plans 1

The first time I felt the future, it shook
Me like an earthquake. With a tiny kick
I felt my strategies shatter. It took
My grand escape from me and I felt sick
As all the dead fantasies blew away.
With my hand on her belly I learned that
The world was no longer mine, that new day
Had dawned. My world had a whole new palette
From which I would paint our beautiful life.
Then there was blood on porcelain, panic
As the ambulance took her to the knife
That saved her. That ended the tiny kick.
     My stupid youthful plans in time returned,
     But after the future they only burned.

On TD

His mind is a razor, it cuts so clean
Even when the most unexpected thing
Happens he reacts like it was routine,
And all that he says has that perfect ring
Of spontaneity that simply won't
Be learned no matter how hard one may try.
Though he is an old and dear friend I don't
Pretend that he and I are peers. No, my
Mind does not operate on that level.
I will never be as comfortable
With myself as he is when we revel
And my self-worth will never be so full.
     But competition was never the plan,
     With his friendship, I am a better man.

Sexy Beast

With shoulders broad and strong I will labor.
A beast of burden constantly striving
To accomplish something for my neighbor.
My body called to serve in my driving
Urge to make my mark on this world with sweat
And pain and muscle and anything that
I might have to give. I will make it yet.
Though don't think that I'm constantly at
Work, that labor is all that sustains me,
Because this beast of burden can partake
In powerful passion as well, you see.
And when I step and make the whole world quake
     I know that there's a secret, special pull
     Calling out--Will you try to ride this bull?

Moth

I am a moth, and with my dusty wings
I can explore my world. A tiny blur
That moves without intent around the things
In my environment. Then I see her
And everything is changed. She is the fire
That calls to me in the way she shines.
Her dance of flickering light can inspire
In this humble creature the greatest kinds
Of passion and desire. I am drawn in
And take to flight with but a single aim,
A great purpose that is realized when
I am consumed in her beautiful flame…
     Burning up, I have no other wish than
     To be a phoenix, and touch her again.