The Sonnets of Lance Hunter

For G

2011-10-31T15:33:00.002-05:00

You stack paper like a rapper’s cliche,
Bound book and loose leaf completely covered
In dense deep dreams, like a burning bouquet
Of the future. They say you discovered
Some secret corridor to a place where
Poetry falls from the sky in torrents
While epiphanies dance like Fred Astaire.
Each wild wonderful word you write warrants
Careful consideration. Because you
Did discover the perfect poetic
Place. It’s all around us, you just cut through
The bullshit with razor-sharp aesthetic
And expose all the wonder we forsake,
‘Cause you are the motherfucking CUPCAKE!

Death of the Sonnet

2011-04-12T15:58:00.002-05:00

Is the sonnet dead? Has time finally
Claimed this calm configuration of words?
You find so few of them in the wild, the
Sad specimens hobbled like awkward birds,
High-school homework littered with archaic
Language and dusty turns of phrase that serve
To create a pitiful mosaic
For any that that take the time to observe.
Will this form die along with the old man
On the radio and his audience
Of English professors? Is there a plan
To fight furious for the form's defense?
No. There's not. Compose the sonnet's obit,
But know this sonnet lives while you read it.

Beating Back the Burlesque

2011-04-06T00:24:00.003-05:00

Well here we go, it looks like I have to
Adopt my nelly queen persona if
I actually want to converse with you
On a human level. You catch my whiff
Of flaming homosexuality
And slowly set aside your weaponry
That razor-sharp sexy smile you see
As a way to dominate guys like me
So that they know they cannot control you.
A target since puberty, you just don't
Approach until you know I won't pursue.
Now we can just be two people, you won't
Treat me like the predators of your youth.
Sometimes it takes a mask to show the truth.

My Best Request

2011-04-02T13:53:00.005-05:00

The most virtuous thing that you can do,
Perhaps the highest calling of our age
Is to disarm an idealist, and to
Speak the nuance of the truth to the rage
Of those who only see in stark contrasts.
Expose the lie of the simple answer
That's twisted a million mistaken pasts,
Created chaos and been a cancer
On our path to a better tomorrow.
Let there be passion for the pragmatic.
Remember we're all fallible, and go
Teach them how to see the problematic
In all that claims to be the one true way.
Let doubt weed out absolutes that betray.

How Long is Now

2011-03-20T16:47:00.002-05:00

You walk on a motherfucking high wire
Each step an intense task, each new footfall
Ecstatic victory. We all admire
That you proudly show us you will not crawl.
But each triumph gives way to new tension
Another chance to fail, to fall, and find
Yourself beaten by the wire. Suspension
Such as yours was only ever designed
To last so long, one end to the other
But you tight-rope-walk a trail without end
You let temporary tension smother
Long-term planning, a fatal flaw, my friend.
And I know you can't tell that this is dire
'Cause you can't see the forest for the fire.

Warning

2011-02-13T21:02:00.002-06:00

You're setting yourself up for disaster
When the only things that you pursue are
The ones that retreat further and faster.
The best way to make sure that you never
Get what you want is to only want what
Doesn't want you. And the best way to stay
Most miserable, like, punch-in-the-gut
Pained and agonized, is to change the way
You are in hopes that you can make someone
Love you, to adopt a completely new
Personality and hope when you're done
The one you want will suddenly want you.
It's pointless to point out this misery
'Cause I know that's how you want it to be.

No End In Sight

2011-01-22T15:14:00.004-06:00

The problem with love is that it's no end.
It's just another step forward on the
Journey. As much as you'd like to pretend
The credits will roll and you will be free
When you finally share that climactic kiss
The only thing I can guarantee is
That once you come up for air, all of this
Will still be here, no matter what she says.
And as long as your love may last, the earth
Will still be spinning long after the last
Memory of you has passed. So what worth
Is there in love that's destined for the past?
It has only the value you give it.
So don't try to capture love, just live it.

Prince Charming's Campaign

2011-01-04T19:10:00.003-06:00

My charm is a siege weapon, designed to
Wear its way through her walls while I wait with
Patience just outside her gate. I undo
Her defenses and make myself a myth
Of everything she needs but can't have yet.
I'll become the person that she's always
Pictured at her side. She will frown and fret
With worry while thinking of all the ways
She could mess up and miss out on her chance
To be with me. And in the end I won't
Have to beat down her gate, she'll let me dance
Right in. That's when I'l leave, because I don't
Want her. I don't want anyone at all.
What I want is to watch defenses fall.

Bit By Bit

2010-12-31T17:49:00.003-06:00

It's all right there, sitting in front of you,
The tools to create countless works of art
And publish them for the whole world to view.
They're waiting for you to pour out your heart,
Waiting for you to start using your voice.
So why aren't you saying anything? By
Just sitting there you've made the choice
To not create, and that means it's a lie
When you tell yourself that you could make it
If you just had the opportunity.
You can't make it because you can't commit
And because you lack the ability.
My computer gives the world bit by bit
To remind me I'm not worthy of it.

I Represent

2010-11-27T15:29:00.004-06:00

She claims that I don't speak for anyone,
That I act out of pure self-interest.
But she can't see the way so many run
To take my side, to join me on my quest.
We're ready to find a way out of this
Swamp of suppressive shame, leaving behind
Those who would wallow in their own abyss.
We will evolve and become a new kind,
We'll use the gifts we've been blessed with, and leave
Ruined the hate that used to make us doubt.
We'll triumph, because of what we perceive.
Next time she says I'm alone, I will shout
A truth that you can mount on your steeple,
I represent the beautiful people.

Epicurean, Unbowed

2010-11-23T16:36:00.003-06:00

I refuse to be a cautionary
Tale, an example of hedonism's
Dark consequences. Fate will not bury
My pleasures in comeuppance, no schisms
Will cleave me from those whom I care for most.
There is no shame in pursuing pleasure,
So tell your father, son, and holy ghost
That I have found my own earthly treasure
And I will continue to enjoy all
That this life has allowed me to receive.
So I will take this joy on the long haul
All the way to the grave, 'cause I believe
Pleasure begets pleasure, joy begets joy.
There's so much out there, so I won't be coy.

To the Better Man

2010-11-22T22:56:00.003-06:00

I know you think you've claimed your prize, and I
Wish I could congratulate you on your
Victory. But I know the facts, and my
Heart simply cannot be brought to ignore
The way she quivered when she held me close,
Her pulse racing as those thin arms tried to
Capture desires she could only expose
In those secret silent moments the two
Of us shared. I know that passion frightened
Her. It was the first time she lost control.
Now she's with you, holding back the heightened
Passions she knows you can't stir in her soul.
She chose you out of cold calculation,
And that is no cause for celebration.

On the Occasion of Your Triumphant Return

2010-11-18T16:24:00.003-06:00

The distance of an ocean is far less
Significant today than in the past.
It doesn't feel far when you can express
Whatever's on your mind in a quick blast
That travels, instantly, around the globe.
And so I've read your thoughts, I've seen your art,
Your voice has echoed in my prefrontal lobe,
But I still felt your absence in my heart.
Because some things can only be conveyed
When we share the same air, stand face to face,
When I can see your subtle signs displayed
In ways cameras cannot capture or trace.
No simulacrum will ever explain
How it will feel to embrace you again.

Let's Go

2010-09-18T15:18:00.004-05:00

How far are you prepared to go in the
Pursuit of wild and reckless abandon?
Because I think it's high fucking time we
Scorch the sky like our joy was some new sun.
I want to set off something so stunning
Our names will turn to totems that future
Party people will invoke when gunning
For the greatest night of their lives. Let's tour
The border between too much and way, way
Too much. I'm prepared to make the edge a
Mere memory left behind, far away,
As we go hunting for the next hurrah.
Take my hand and we will turn legends true.
I could only have this much fun with you.

How He Does It

2010-09-17T14:43:00.006-05:00

He comes equipped with an "ask forgiveness
Not permission" approach to boundaries.
He simply expects her to acquiesce
And if she gives him an inch, then he'll seize
Everything that lay before him, until
The word "no" finally falls from her lips.
Then his progress will halt, he will sit still,
His hands set like stone held on to her hips.
Though there is no forward motion, reverse
Doesn't begin until she demands it.
I can't comprehend how he can coerce
Them into giving more than they'd permit
If he were to ask first, but I can tell
It feels wrong to seduce with the hard sell.

The Gift of Johnny Irish

2010-09-10T14:23:00.005-05:00

Cork seals the bottle that hangs from my neck
Where it was tied by a traveller three
Days prior. The tiny tincture's small speck
Of magic make it love potion, ready
To be imbibed by that special someone
And shared with me the moment we meet in
This dusty bacchanal. Oh then the fun
Will flow like fermented freedom and sin
Itself will stand awestruck at all we do.
So now it sits, resting against my chest,
Anxious for the moment it will bring true
Passion into this world. But it had best
Be ready to wait a very long while,
'Cause when I see her I'm too shy to smile.

Housewarming Blessing

2010-08-05T08:12:00.003-05:00

Open this door as you'd open your heart
And step through this threshold prepared to smile.
You're in a place where silliness is smart
And the smart are fiendishly versatile.
This is a place where creation occurs,
Within these walls substance makes out with style,
Lost in the glitter and feathers and furs.
Where wisdom will find new ways to beguile
The beautiful and bewitch the brazen,
Inviting the muse and the inventor.
Are you ready to see all that lays in
Wait once you allow yourself to enter?
You'll find a free-form feast for the fickle
In the fabulous home of the tickle.

Oh Hell Yes

2010-07-19T16:49:00.002-05:00

It's time to get in way over our heads,
To rush face first into the blinding light
With the full force throttle of thoroughbreds
Making the leap, holding each other tight.
It's time to roll around in the dirt of
The garden of eden, fucking in filth
So precious you can trade it for true love.
Throw out all sense of shame, all sense of stealth,
They should be able to hear us coming
And know, when we arrive, that they'll witness
Passion so powerful hearts are humming
In anticipation of feeling this.
We'll love each other with pyrrhic fury,
And we won't stop 'till we turn to debris.

She's Out There

2010-07-08T13:58:00.003-05:00

I'm ready for the way that things will be
Once we have finally found each other.
I'm ready for the time we'll disagree
About the funniest way to bother
The missionaries at your door until
We finally compromise, deciding
That I'll wear the sequined thong and you will
Wear the gorilla suit. So stop hiding
In the potential and come out to play.
I'm ready for the inside jokes we'll share.
Ready to hold you as night becomes day.
Ready with the touch that will take you there,
Remembering fondly when we first kissed.
I'm ready to believe that you exist.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

2010-07-01T19:41:00.003-05:00

I am gonna make it through this year, but
I really wish I wouldn't. It would be
Much easier to pass than to face what
Is waiting in that dark future for me.
I can't comprehend how I will make it
Through twenty to forty more years of this.
But I know that I'm unable to quit
Even though I've lost my last chance at bliss.
Day will follow day, night will follow night,
And I wil be thrust through them with the force
Of pure inertia, and all of my might
Won't be able to stop me on this course.
Life is long, with poor resolution
I just want a permanent solution.

The Gift

2010-06-25T16:06:00.003-05:00

I was once given a gift. It was two
Days after we'd had a huge fight and she
Surprised me. Almost too good to be true.
Dumbstruck at what had been given to me.
It was, quite possibly, her greatest act
Of love, and I knew just how much it meant,
Or at least I thought I did. Now the fact
That I was given this gift will torment
Me until my dying day. I still wish
That she had never loved me quite that much.
But she did, so I eat the bitter dish
And try like hell to forget the warm touch.
The reason that gift cuts me to the bone
Is that I couldn't earn it on my own.

Little Plastic Wrappers

2010-06-14T09:16:00.003-05:00

Little plastic wrappers litter the waste-
Basket that hides in the corner of my
Bathroom. Little plastic memories taste
Of all the times that came before goodbye,
When he and she and they and me let loose
All the passion that was hidden within,
The way the sunrise would always seduce,
Pulling at them once we'd satisfied skin,
Leaving behind only little plastic
Wrappers, the waste meant to be discarded.
I'd trade every one for the fantastic
Feeling of waking up in a shared bed,
But no one will trade for all my excess,
'Cause little plastic wrappers are worthless.

Eden

2010-06-09T17:18:00.003-05:00

Each of us has a garden of eden
Hidden somewhere in the plains of our past.
There was a place and there was a time when
Happiness hit heavy and joy was vast.
Now your memories can barely contain
All of the laughter you shared, and so it
Spills out as a grin that you can't explain
To anyone who wasn't there. We get
Our time in eden, but that time must pass.
And once we leave we can never go back,
Never laugh like that, never feel the grass
Between our toes. That joy we'll always lack.
I've stopped searching for eden, I've lost her.
Now I search for something even better.

For M

2010-06-02T15:14:00.003-05:00

The world is a hell of a lot better
Because there are people like you in it.
'Cause you're one of those souls that can set her
Mind to task and make the world get to it.
I'm certain that if you decided to
Make mountains move that in time we would see
The continents taking orders from you,
And if you decided that it would be
Better if the sun weren't so bright I'm sure
You'd find a way to get a dimmer switch
Installed in the sky. Your words are the cure
For apathy. You're a stone badass bitch.
I know, from what you'd done and what you've said,
There's an empire of awesome in your head.

13 Blessings

2010-05-01T12:49:00.004-05:00

May you find joy in everything you do.
May all who greet you do so in good will.
May every word of praise you hear be true.
May you always have a dream to fulfill.
May your nights be known as legendary.
May all your days be completely worthwhile.
May pain only come when necessary.
And may its lessons never dull your smile.
May love always be able to find you.
May jealousy never darken your door.
May your rewards never be overdue.
May you create art too great to ignore.
And many years after you cease to be,
May people still smile in your memory.

For N

2010-04-29T18:12:00.003-05:00

You've got a smile that could jump-start engines
And a laugh that would make hell seem all right
If I heard it there. Now this just begins
The long list of all the ways you bring light
And joy like champagne bottles bring bubbles,
Flowing forth for everyone to enjoy.
You don't just make me forget my troubles,
I forget what the word "troubles" means. Toy-
Sized and terrific, I'm happy to say
That I've been blessed with the chance to spend time
In this world with a girl who makes the day
So much brighter, who is truly sublime.
And since you shine like the sun at high noon,
I'd like for us to get drinks sometime soon.

Consumed By

2010-04-21T14:57:00.003-05:00

I don't know how to react anymore.
And I wouldn't even be able to
Fake it if I did. So when I saw your
Silhouette on the horizon I knew
My only option was escape. And so
I fled, flying fast from memories that
Played like a painful, perverse picture show
In my mind. The way we both saw combat
And called it love, our pitched battles that left
Nothing but casualties on every side.
All that we gained was the mutual theft
Of each other's happiness. So I hide
Myself away until you have passed through.
To avoid the fact that I still love you.

Lamar Ped Bridge #1

2010-04-12T00:28:00.004-05:00

I suppose I will write a sonnet. On
This bridge overlooking the beautiful
River, watching the rare midnight stroll drawn
Past my vantage point. Lovers in the full
And furious act of discovery,
Each new exchange giving another chance
To find that they are matched so perfectly,
To dream about the day they'll visit France,
And quickly walk away from the weird guy
Looking at them from the ledge. I can hear
The city's slumber, I can feel it lie
Down for a short break, to shake off the fear.
And now the bridge asks, as I stand on it.
Will I jump, or will I write a sonnet?

Belated for Her

2010-04-09T15:25:00.004-05:00

You're an endless source of smiles, a fountain
Flowing free with waterfalls of wonder
Cascading like rivers from the mountain.
Your voice can bring my glee out from under
The darkest of clouds and cause it to soar.
And I know that I'm overstating things
Right now, making caricature of your
Grace, complicated and true. It still stings
When I consider that, if not for my
Misplaced desires, I might still be with you.
You've found happiness now, and I just sigh.
When you see me, just know this much is true--
Of those whose love has pierced my heart's great wall
You'll always be the fairest of them all.

Fashion Plate

2010-04-01T15:28:00.003-05:00

This is the outfit I've been waiting for.
The couture that can propel me from dull
And dreary to sharpest man on the floor.
The clothes that cause ladies to pause and mull
Their chances of getting me out of them.
Oh yes, they'd look as fine on your floor as
They do clinging to my form. From the hem
Of the pant leg, all the way up, it says
"I look better than you, I must admit."
So I approach my love, and with a wink
And a smile I allow her to take it
All in. Then I ask "Well what do you think?"
She looks me over and says with a sigh,
"That's a lot of purple for a white guy."

The Love Letter I Shouldn't Write

2010-03-25T17:55:00.003-05:00

This is the love letter I shouldn't write
A mistake in the making, each pen stroke
Sending me further out into a tide
That will swallow me. I'll go up in smoke
When I fall into your flame. I will waste
Away when I find no sustenance so
Sweet as the fine flavor that I can taste
On your lips. If you ask me, I will go
To the sun and mock it for not shining
As brightly as you. In your lightning storm
I'll stand taller to see silver lining
And if you strike me I will feel so warm.
I hope you can hear this love that I shout,
And I hope your boyfriend doesn't find out.

Do Something

2010-03-18T23:54:00.004-05:00

I know what I can do. I can feel the
Force of all my potential energy,
Like champagne waiting for its cork to be
Twisted just a touch so it can push free.
But so far that little twist hasn't come
I sit idle and unable to make
Use of what I have. I simply succumb
To my weaknesses and let the time take
Away my dreams, every second a thief.
Every minute a monster, consuming
My future as I sit in disbelief,
Too scared of the risk to begin blooming.
I've got to do something. I've got to try.
This is not the way that I want to die.

Two Against One

2010-03-11T17:29:00.003-06:00

They call me a wolf, and they aren't lying.
I never said I was anything else,
And I'll tell you right right now that I'm trying
To get you nude and pleasure all the cells
That have blessed the world by becoming you.
I want to put a smile on your face and
A wet spot on your sheets. You know it's true.
But what do they want, the couple who stand
So close to you, who try to put me down?
Yea they're your friends, but then so am I, and
They say they just want you to hang around.
They'll invite you home, like it wasn't planned.
They share in my goals, they want the same fun.
This isn't fair play, it's two against one.

Embrace

2010-02-18T00:41:00.004-06:00

The first time we embraced I couldn't tell
Which was was up. I was delirious
With possibility, hoping like hell
That you were right--this could get serious.
The next time we embraced the planet stopped
Moving just long enough for us to share
A night that you told me couldn't be topped.
I knew what that implied, I didn't care.
The last time we embraced I wanted to
Know why I didn't know and how you could
Keep it from me. Some stupid secret grew
Into proof that you never understood.
Now you are leaving and I will not chase
Because I reject your shallow embrace.

There Is No Synthroid in the Apocalypse

2010-02-10T16:13:00.007-06:00

Nine pills rattle reckless at the very
Bottom of their bottle. Four-and-a-half
Days supply, and then no more. I carry
Their container, held together with gaff
Tape that covers a label that once bore
My name. Four-and-a-half days, then they're gone.
And I will wander this wasteland no more.
I have five more mornings to catch the dawn.
Four more nights of moonlight bathing my skin,
Comforting a heart that's destined to stop.
But I have an advantage, I know when
It's last beat will come. I'll dance 'till I drop
Celebrating sunset. Know this my friends--
Life is a gift no matter how it ends.

True Romance

2010-02-03T13:37:00.004-06:00

The most romantic thing I've ever heard
Escaped from her lips during the orgy,
Her voice raspy, shuddering every word,
"You're the only one I want inside me."
And it was as though pleasure suddenly
Had its own gravity, and we became
Mere satellites in orbit around the
Hands he used to take hold of her hips. Flame
Filled up the ever-diminishing space
Between them until it was smothered by
The collision of want and need. Her face
Full of joy, new clarity in his eye.
Years later they're together, no regret
Though they don't tell the children where they met.

Jessie and Charley

2010-01-27T15:35:00.005-06:00

I've never seen such concern in her eyes.
Tears swell like tides. Subtle. Overwhelming.
She's unable to keep up the disguise
Of the fun-time friend who can't see the thing
Consuming him slowly from inside-out.
She wants to be the strength that he's missing
To learn what his sickness is all about,
As though knowledge could stop him from pissing
Away the life that she finds so precious,
That he's escaping like an old burden.
It's too late, though, when she tries to discuss
'Cause he wrote these words to her in the end--
"Don't call it love when it looks like pity
Fucking give up on trying to save me."

I Am Not Weak

2010-01-19T13:52:00.003-06:00

It's that special feeling deep down inside
When you realize that she doesn't feel the
Same way that you feel about her. You hide
The awful ache and wonder what could be
Worse than this. Or perhaps it's more like when
You find that all of your friends have moved on,
You'll never be so close to them again,
What you called family was illusion
And now you have to face your life alone.
That's the tide rising around my ankles,
The winds of this emotional cyclone.
I know this feeling is the one that culls
The weak and tortured souls that cannot see--
Even at its darkest, life is beauty.

Kiss & Tell

2010-01-14T13:23:00.002-06:00

I'm much better at kissing than talking.
I can communicate so much more when
My voice is still and my lips are walking
Softly up to the nape of your neck than
I could ever hope to do with these words
That seem to only be good for masking
What we really mean. Like when we were birds,
My lips were tearful confessors, asking
Questions they didn't want to hear answered,
And though our words said everything was fine
It was with my lips that the truth was heard.
I was not yours, and you could not be mine.
It was the purest way to feel that pain.
You won't taste the truth on my lips again.

So I Still Have Your...

2010-01-06T01:28:00.003-06:00

My nightstand carries a collection of
Jetsam, cast adrift when waters were wild.
The things they took off before making love
To me are ever-so-neatly compiled
In that special corner, should their owners
Ever decide they need the stray hair pin,
The rogue left earring, that scrunchie of hers.
Yet somehow the pile never seems to thin,
New nights of passion leaving deposits
That sensible mornings somehow forget.
I'm left feeling confused by this, 'cause it's
Some kind of sign I don't understand yet.
So I'll continue sorting carefully
Until such time that someone will claim me.

Unfortunately, Dreams Do Come True

2009-12-18T13:59:00.005-06:00

All my life I have wanted nothing more
Than to be wanted and desired. I dreamed
Of lusty gazes launched like bombs in war,
Exploding as they land on me. It seemed
The day when I was longed-for would never
Arrive. But then it did, and now I know
The heat of hearts that will do whatever
It takes to feel my fire and share my glow.
Now that my greatest dream has come in bloom
I'm finding its fragrance acrid and tart,
Because when someone wants you, you assume
The power to deny, to break their heart.
So please know, when I deny you this kiss,
I never wanted it to be like this.

Set It Free

2009-12-11T13:34:00.003-06:00

Oh, the pure power of your potential
Pulls at my heart and stirs a strong sly smile
On my face, 'cause I see your essential
Excellence and envy your so-sweet style.
I know that you've yet to bring out your best,
That you've been dazzling us with mere play.
I want to see your skills made manifest.
I want to see you blow us all away
With wonders falling from your fingertips
Like confetti too numerous to count,
And there will be poetry on the lips
Of everyone as they try to account
For what has just transpired, the majesty
You will unleash when you set your self free

Heros Need Victims

2009-12-04T15:03:00.002-06:00

I have a healthy and well-earned distrust
Of all those who want to be a hero
There's something sinister inside the lust
For "knight in shining armor" status. No,
It's not that I'm against saving the day,
But for you to be a white knight there has
To be a damsel in distress, okay?
Your glory springs from her danger, and as
Honest as your motives may be, you're still
Hoping someone else is put in a place
They can't escape without your help. So will
You let selfish fantasies die and face
Reality? Those you would save become
The tragic victims of your idiom.

Exchange

2009-11-24T17:27:00.002-06:00

I want to change your world, to make magic
Out of ordinary occurrences,
My alchemy always arriving quick
And ready to delight all your senses
With wonders that will take your breath away.
I want to be your source of spectacle,
To bring you buckets of smiles every day
To toss with careless glee at the fickle
Forms of fate, fighting a losing battle
To sink our sky-high spirits. So come claim
Me quickly and continents will rattle
With the force of delight found in your flame.
I want to bring you ceaseless jubilee
In exchange for the joy you've given me.

Great Love

2009-11-23T11:32:00.001-06:00

In the lonely moments of misspent youth
Much of my quiet contemplation was
Turned to the topic of love and the truth
Behind a question that gave me much pause--
What makes a great love? What thing separates
The spark shared between two souls from the flame
Found between two others? When you look at
It, is great love something you just can't name?
But the years have taught me much about fires
And now I know greatness so very well,
'Cause a great love is a love that inspires
It gives freely a desire to excel.
It's why we are here, it's why we create.
Ryan and Amy, what you share is great.

Nice In Theory

2009-11-11T19:53:00.003-06:00

Let me make this as clear as humanly
Possible--Guys, you aren't getting turned down
Because you are too nice. Oh no, you see,
When she says "You're a nice guy, but..." just drown
Out that part, it's filler anyways, and
Listen to what comes next--"...not interested."
Those are the words that matter. Don't demand
Some explaination. You weren't arrested,
You don't have a constitutional right
To know why. If you don't eat casserole
Does casserole get to bug you all night
While you try to pick up a sushi bowl?
Let it go, remembering this advice--
If you're annoying, that's not very nice.

It Is an Insidious Effect of the Patriarchy That a Heterosexual Male Feels He Has a Right to the Attention of Any Female He Finds Attractive

2009-11-06T12:59:00.007-06:00

So let me say, first of all, that this is
Based purely on your visual appeal.
Your sense of style and lean lithe form says
That I should approach you and start my spiel.
Not that this is rehearsed, I have no plan.
I don't know your view or your politics
(God I hope you're not a Republican.)
But your brown eyes are enough to transfix
And make me want to fill in the blanks
For all of the things we have yet to share.
How loud can you laugh? What makes you give thanks?
What makes your happy? What makes you despair?
I want to get closer and feel your flame.
But I will just start with--What is your name?

Sugar High

2009-10-31T11:00:00.004-05:00

I'm so sick of this stupid sweet sugar
Syrup sticking soft on our lips. I hate
The half-hour high and your perfect purr
As the rush lets us pretend we relate.
Climbing up up up up up as if we
Don't realize each meter we ascend
Will contribute to the velocity
Of our catastrophic collapse. Pretend
That come-down isn't inevitable.
Pretend we can fly on these weary wings.
I don't want a sugar high, unstable
And without nourishment. Bring me the things
That will stick to my ribs. I will sink my
Teeth into the meat and tell you goodbye.

Like The Sun Loves The Moon

2009-10-27T13:03:00.002-05:00

There is a road marked by your footprints, sole
Stitches running up its length, binding past
And future together, making them whole.
Flowers blooming where your shadow was cast.
There is a place where only you have been
A secret spot that let you be reborn
Soul glowing like a luminescent skin
Giving you the smile that you still adorn,
A constant reminder that you've been blessed.
Oh god I want you. I hear your tales and
Feel them pierce my heart. I'm a man possessed
By a desire too great to understand.
But I cannot follow where you have been
I can only pray that you will come again.

What I Am

2009-10-21T09:33:00.003-05:00

I am a blind man with a burning urge
To paint the sunset I have never seen.
Fumbling with these brushes, trying to purge
This image from my mind, to make it clean
With the unknown things I think that I mix
On my palette. Making a royal mess.
I'm a boxer, throwing punches at bricks.
Striking hard blows and moving with finesse
Against an opponent I'll never knock
Down. Bleeding through my gloves, my knuckles swell
And burst. Hands stay up, remember to block.
Keep fighting, no one's there to ring the bell.
I cannot be what I am and have what
I want. Truth so sharp I can't feel it cut.

She Moves

2009-10-14T12:44:00.003-05:00

Trying to capture her beauty in a
Photograph is like trying to hold the
Morning breeze in your hands, or putting a
Crashing wave in a paper cup. Boldly
She manifests magnificent motion
Existing entirely between the frames,
A cacophony of calm commotion
She shows us joy with a million names
Spelled by the small cyclones left in her wake
Winding air weaves wonders from fingertips
That will give as much pleasure as they take,
And then these words will echo from her lips...
"Don't just stand there and talk about beauty,
I want to know what you'll do to move me."

Spark Me

2009-10-03T15:14:00.004-05:00

Find me a spark that will set me on fire.
I want that deep down immolating lust
Like living light bursting from our desire
Until we spontaneously combust.
I know that you're ready. I see you're soaked
Through with accelerants, prepared to burn.
Your meticulous architecture choked
With anticipation of all you yearn
For being unleashed, causing your collapse.
What will it feel like to be so consumed?
Agony? Ecstasy? Or both, perhaps?
So let's light a match and call ourselves doomed.
We'll create something we cannot contain.
And when we're done, only embers remain.

Chicken

2009-09-30T15:11:00.004-05:00

I feel like a chicken, desperate to fly,
Furiously flapping wings while waiting
To feel the kiss of the air under my
Feet. I spend every second hating
The trap that is what I am, and the form
That keeps me forever tethered to dirt
And rock and grass, unable to transform
Into the beautiful creatures that flirt
With the clouds overhead. So I'll just crane
My neck and cast my eyes up to the sky
To watch your brilliant colors entertain
The sun, so far away from me, so high.
I know what I am. I know how I seem.
Just know that I fly with you when I dream.

Revolt of the Plastic People

2009-09-22T23:11:00.002-05:00

The plastic people are in revolt. They're
Fed up with your sanctimonious shit.
Now they're pulling back their fabulous hair
And marching in their platform boots to get
Back at every single normal fuck
That maligns and mocks the great glitter urge
And the disco drive. They will run amok!
Fake-nail fingers squeezing triggers to purge
The streets of all the false sincerity
Authentic brands will burn up in the rage.
Plastic peoples' purpose has clarity
And there's just one way to stop their rampage:
Even though they're plastic, their hearts still feel,
They'll stop in awe and bow before the real.

The Hanging Dagger

2009-09-21T01:56:00.004-05:00

The ornate dagger hangs in the great hall
And over the years it has been witness
To beauty and wonders both large and small--
The humor of the jesters, the fitness
Of the acrobats, the power of the
Royalty that gather these things to them.
Countless gazes have been fixed when they see
The dagger's splendor, hypnotized by stem
And blade, the life's work of its creator.
On its plaque, the dagger has one question
In a tongue for which there's no translator:
"So I, the most beautiful possession,
Will never know what it feels like to cut
Or pierce or slice, so I exist for what?"

Becoming We

2009-09-17T22:36:00.003-05:00

I want to mature in your aperture
Like light landing lovingly on your eye
Becoming, in your mind, a sight so pure
The whole world fades away in one deep sigh.
Then all that there will be is you and me
Exchanging energy, inventing our
Private paradise for pleasuring the
Mind and body, heart and soul. We devour
The sweet sunlight reflecting on our skin
And sleep when we are sated, holding on
To each other until we wake up in
Reality again, to smile and yawn.
I will learn your smile like a holy song
Sung in each other's arms, where we belong.

Franco Don't Surf

2009-09-15T23:12:00.002-05:00

On my return, they'll throw a grand parade,
A celebration of my victories
Like the triumphs of old Rome. My crusade
Of purity will excise the disease
That has for too long eater at our core.
To save my people, I must make them bleed.
Oh, I will do things that they will abhor,
But they will know that it is what they need
And after each campaign I can be sure
That I'll return to another parade
From my subjects, so frightened yet so pure.
I won't care that it's become a charade
For my hears is small, and my sins are vast
And when I die, they will all say "At last."

Last

2009-08-19T13:51:00.003-05:00

Our kisses were like a chemical bond
Building, binding us together on a
Molecular level. It was beyond
Our understanding. Then it was gone, a
Flash of heat followed by separation.
And now what was so close is so obscure,
Like the signal from a distant station,
Buried by static, completely unsure.
I still crave you, and what we used to share.
I know because we still kiss in my dreams.
Building that chemical bond, unaware
That when I wake it will be to my screams.
Don't wonder how I feel as you review
The last sonnet I'll ever write for you.

After Good Bye

2009-08-13T14:39:00.002-05:00

The power of her absence amazes
Me. I feel it like a vacuum in the
Center of my chest. Like empty gazes
Cast into the abyss. And now when she
Doesn't appear in my dreams all I feel
Is that sick sense that I'm missing something
Important, that I'm not able to deal
With a terrible truth. My ears will ring
With the silence of her voice not speaking
To me. My flesh will freeze from the cold lack
Of her touch. And I'm not even seeking
To fill this void. She's never coming back,
And no one else could take her place to me
So part of me will always be empty.

The Pursuit

2009-07-07T16:45:00.001-05:00

They say a man is nothing if he is
Without a quest, that it is the drive to
Fulfill some goal that brings purpose to his
Existence. Now I don't know just how true
All of that is, but I'd like to recruit
You for an experiment: to see just
How fulfilling the true reckless pursuit
Of pleasure can be. Now as is discussed,
I must throw myself into this task with
Focus and intensity if I'm to
Make this night into the personal myth
Of struggle, triumph, and struggle anew.
The look of bliss you'll wear is my treasure.
Tonight, I exist to bring you pleasure.

As Far As You May Roam

2009-07-03T14:30:00.003-05:00

I've let my anchor drop. I've found a fixed
Position in this world and I'm prepared
To stay a while. So though I sit transfixed
At all the tales of adventure you've shared,
And though you see tears betraying my eyes
When you begin to sing your travelers' prayer
And though you feel my wanderlust arise
Like spirits with passions too great to bear,
Do not ask me to join you on the road,
'Cause it will break my heart when I refuse
And say I've found the place to lay my load.
But I will keep it well for you, my muse
So that you know, as far as you may roam
You will always be welcome in my home.

The Self-Immolation Blues

2009-06-15T18:38:00.005-05:00

Despite my best efforts, my will crumbles
Under the rule of this enigmatic
Reaction. My mind-blank-body stumbles
Like a corpse running on automatic
Pilot to the unknown destination,
To the fate unforseen. I am compelled
By some strange secret communication
That speaks to me in words that can't be spelled.
It speaks when molecules accelerate
When energy is transformed into heat.
I have become a fuel to desecrate.
I am no longer man. I am it's meat.
The fire burns all, and nothing can remain
And with fire--ev'rything is new again.

For ST

2009-05-30T15:35:00.005-05:00

I want to make a masterpiece for you.
I want to reach inside myself and grasp
Some spark of pure emotion, burning blue
and white, the intensity of an asp
About to strike, the depth of all the dreams
You can't forget. I want to take this spark
And polish mere matter until it gleams.
I want the centuries to know its mark.
Let schoolchildren in three thousand and nine
Write sleepy essays expressing their views
On the great work that will be this design
And the love you gave that would be its muse.
I want to create legendary art
To show the world the joy you've brought my heart.

Advice to the Heartbroken Young Woman of Austin Whose Relationship Has Just Come to an End.

2009-05-05T22:43:00.004-05:00

I know that you feel sad, but don't succumb
To grief before you face all of your trials.
You have one week before you become chum
For all the the sharks who flash their fang-filled smiles.
These former friends will find when you're alone
At some social function, with flatteries
Like bold bludgeons they'll try to knock you prone
And have their way with you. Their batteries
Can only be recharged with energy
From broken hearts making a compromise,
New blood for incestuous synergy.
They'll strive to touch your heart between your thighs.
They'll work the angles like you were a square.
So know what lies before you and beware.

One Hour

2009-04-24T15:30:00.003-05:00

I've given myself an hour to write
A proper sonnet in the English style
Of meter and rhyme. I'd like to delight
You with a cunning couplet that would dial
In to the very center of your mind
And provide the proper dénouement to
The well-laid setup that I have refined
Over the first mere dozen lines. So view
This hastily assembled string of words
And tell me if you think I got it right.
Will this only work for poetry nerds?
Or will others sympathize with my plight?
I gave myself an hour for this rhyme,
And now I'm done in only half that time.

Competitors

2009-04-23T14:59:00.003-05:00

I wouldn't really say that we're lovers.
That word misrepresents the thing we share.
No, the term "competitors" best covers
What we are in the heat of our affair.
We face each other like athletes on the
Playing field, prepared to push ourselves to
The very brink of our ability
To come out on top. And so with each new
Encounter our minds flood with endorphins
As breath comes fast and hard. Our skin is flush
And sweat glows from your face as your mouth grins,
Wanting to see who'll be the first to gush.
Remember, when you play this game with me
Don't stop until you're screaming "Victory!"

Fat Lucifer

2009-04-22T14:04:00.003-05:00

It's not going to work. No matter how
Much you want it, no matter how hard you
Try, you've set your sights on something that now
Lies too far outside your grasp. So see through
The absurd lies you've been told all your life
And recognize that there is no reward
For all your struggle, there is only strife
And minor victories to be ignored
By all the souls on Earth--they too must face
The failures that come every new day.
Give up your quest and abandon your chase.
Kill the ambition you choose to obey.
You'll learn the truth when all your hopes shatter
For when you fail, it won't even matter.

Test of Time

2009-04-17T14:11:00.002-05:00

How will our passion stand the test of time?
Will you still want to rest your head on my
Chest and drift into a sleep so sublime
When you've woken so often to a sigh
Of contentment escaping from my lips?
Will we still roar and fuck and sway our way
Through our thousandth night just like when the tips
Of each others' fingers were an array
Of explorers, making maps of the sum
Total of the pleasure found in their quest?
I can't speak for the weeks and years to come,
Life's far too short to turn into a test.
So take my hand and prepare to ignite.
We are ready for the future tonight.

Glow

2009-04-16T13:36:00.002-05:00

If there's one lesson I've learned through the years
It's this--Always say "Yes" when you get asked
To do something by the girl who appears
At the party well after midnight, masked
By the wild flash of dance-floor lights on her
Designer dress and carrying a whole
Rainbow of pills with names that are a blur
Of consonants and numerals. The sole
Reply that must come out of your mouth if
You should see this rarest of specimens
Is "Sure, I'm down for that." And though the cliff
Diving at dawn may trash your camera lens
And Tokyo raves may be tiresome, go
Fearlessly into the dark night and glow.

Your Mirror

2009-02-03T13:50:00.003-06:00

Your mirror tells you lies of omission
'Cause it can't quite capture what I see when
My lips are on your neck and my eyes an
Inch away from the wonders of your skin.
No, your mirror doesn't show you how the
Thousands of soft hairs sway slightly under
My breath, like blades of soft tall grass as we
Watch the wind bring in the distant thunder.
Your mirror cannot show the stunning sight
That I behold in the moment before
We kiss--our faces close, your eyes closed tight,
And your lips a new country to explore.
In your mirror you become brilliant light,
But in my arms you become pure delight.

Heartbeat

2009-01-29T16:08:00.005-06:00

The way she danced to my heartbeat made heat
And steam rise to the heavens, and my pulse
Pumped breakbeats that shook the walls and made feet
Move with the power of pure white impulse.
And she shined singularly on the floor
Moving like melody to my rhythm.
Our eyes met and she saw I was the core
Of the night's strange sonic algorithm.
And so she took my hand like a clever
Thief grabs jewels, escaping out the door.
Outside, my heartbeat was loud as ever.
Frightened, she wasn't dancing anymore
And my whole world is rattling apart,
'Cause I don't know how to turn down my heart.

Pet Sounds

2009-01-20T16:52:00.004-06:00

I call you 'honey' and you call me 'pet'.
Those soft sweet terms of endearment flowing
From our mouths in whispered tones that have yet
To tire as our affections keep growing.
When passion overwhelms your history
And past heartbreaks seem only to abet
The rough new thing that is our mystery
I'll just ask you to keep calling me 'pet',
Because I'm not entirely sure that
I qualify as human anymore,
Curling up in the spot where you just sat
After I've lapped my shame up off the floor
So if you hold me, I will be your pup.
'Cause I love you, and that's pretty fucked up.

Jill 1

2009-01-11T19:56:00.004-06:00

Every time I hear the word 'NO', I get
A little bit more desperate to hear
Someone say 'YES'. I feel the growing fit
Tug on my mind, the pressure in my ear
Building from being denied what it needs.
I start to consider asking someone
Who I know won't deny me, and like weeds
The sickness spreads through my head. I'm undone
Quickly (my defenses mere illusion)
When I reach out to him. I'm disgusted
At the pride he takes in our brief fusion;
But he said 'YES' and I'm maladjusted.
Now I'll say 'YES' to these pills and this gin.
To sleep, and to never hear 'NO' again.

The Poet's Hypocrisy

2009-01-04T12:20:00.002-06:00

I can create a lovely song of joy
To describe how I feel when you are near.
I'll scribble notes like a nervous schoolboy,
Then sing them out for everyone to hear.
A seduction in verse, employing all
Of my verbal tricks, every metaphore
In my arsenal firing up the tall
Towers of your heart, knocking at your door.
And you reply, with composition and
Skill, that my efforts have won your day. You
Sing your song of joy, beautiful and grand.
But that is not what I want you to do.
Actions, not words, are what keeps my heart fed
Don't tell me you love me, show me instead.

Winning Strategy

2008-12-29T22:25:00.005-06:00

Dreams are coming true everywhere I look
Ambitions are fulfilled so often that
The cries of victory flow like a brook,
Bringing nourishment to souls in combat
Those glorious heroes defeating all
The limits of this world with style and flair.
Dreams are coming true, from heaven they fall
And yet I find myself in this nightmare
Bloody and bruised and begging to be done.
Outwitted and outmatched, I am ruined.
I search my soul for strength and I find none,
Eternally damned in the way I've sinned.
I want to give up and lie on the shelf
Unable to stop defeating myself.

Our Night

2008-12-18T11:04:00.003-06:00

We merry three, contagious in our glee
Race through the streets, wild animals at play
And bystanders just stare, amazed at the
Lovely spectacle, pure joy on display.
We merry three, chaotic harmony
Bursts from our lips like birdsong in a storm
And if we asked nature, she would agree
We play the kind of play that can transform.
We merry three, we know what we could be
If our embrace crossed the threshold of close
If my hand came to rest upon your knee
Within each other's eyes we would expose
The secret dreams of you and she and me
Into the carnal night, we merry three.

Athens

2008-12-13T15:30:00.002-06:00

You see the way the system keeps us down,
And so you raise your fist to smash the state.
Your protocol is flawless and the ground
Is thick with all of your comrades. The wait
Is over, time is now. You face the force
Of what you would destroy, with uniforms
And shields, with tear gas and batons. Of course
They are greatly outnumbered, and the swarms
Of your righteous revolution prevail.
And once you've won, and once the state is smashed
You find that you are lonely, old, and frail.
Merely existing in the world you've trashed.
Your push for change was not guided by love
You rose against. You did not rise above.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum

2008-12-08T02:24:00.004-06:00

I am the lonely void that's found inside
The heart of a hard working man, who makes
His way through life trying not to collide
With his desire, so fearful of mistakes
That he knows he can't avoid. And so with
Every passing moment he does his best
To deny himself the beautiful gift
That waits at his feet if he would just rest
If he would stop striving to be so pure,
To ignore the lies he's heard his whole life,
Give in to true love disguised as lust's lure,
Stop struggles that only service his strife.
For when you walk the wrong path righteously
Each step still leads to pain and misery.

I wanna write like John Darnielle...

2008-11-03T02:14:00.001-06:00

Every day I laugh until I cry,
Tears falling down my face and over my
Wide smile. Every day I wonder why
I am so lucky that my heart could fly
Right out of my chest, exploding in glee.
Look deep into my eyes and you will see
A soul with burdens that pale next to the
Unimaginable size of what we
Have experienced. Even when I feel
Sadness, anguish, despair, or pain I steal
The smallest spark of good and I reveal
The truth that should be known by all who heal--
Even at life's darkest, when all goes wrong,
Breaking makes us heal, healing makes us strong.

Our Last Message

2008-10-17T09:56:00.005-05:00

When you hawked Aunt Grace's heirloom bracelet
Even after your convincing show of
Sorrow after her death the whispered threat
To send you away floated like a dove
Into the dark, clear sky of our silence.
Letting you stay was an act of pure trust
Littered with false hope that the violence
Left in your history would not combust.
Only our trust was betrayed by hungry
Veins and angry fists that made our choice clear.
Even thru your tears everyone could see
You weren't sorry, so you're unwelcome here.
Only now we ask that you read the true,
Urgent message we have composed for you.

My Dance

2008-10-09T11:28:00.004-05:00

I'm dancing on a dark, cratered minefield
Like a child at his own birthday party,
Skipping, jumping, and twirling as the yield
Of high explosives eats its way through me.
And as the shrapnel flies through my fleshy
Core, scrap metal flung through a jello mold,
I'm lost in celebration. I don't see
The damage done. My eyes do not behold
My failing fragile frame, barely able
To continue my dance of abandon.
I leak blood and bile, crimson and sable
But I will dance on until I am done.
And when that day comes and I dance no more
My bones will collapse, but my soul will soar.

Unmarked

2008-10-05T13:08:00.002-05:00

Somehow I had found myself encrusted
In amber and preserved a million years.
And in my suspended state I trusted
Nothing to no one, let no prying ears
Hear the sweet silent song my heart would sing.
I found safety in stillness, I let the
Eons pass in solitude, lingering
Ev'nings into twilight, and they left me
Unfazed, unmoved, without a single scratch.
But then the amber cracked and I was free,
And suddenly time was more than my match.
I aged, fell ill, and in time ceased to be.
I broke free, I cast forever askew
'Cause I wanted to make a mark on you.

The New Highway Patrolman

2008-09-20T14:23:00.003-05:00

As I exited the courtyard gate I
Saw that ornate ironwork pointed at me
With flowery dagger words of goodbye.
And so I hopped into my car to see
If it was possible to outrun grief.
The tree limbs, filled with newly-turning leaves
Shook slightly in my wake, like disbelief.
If the new highway patrolman perceives
Me as a threat I bet I could reach for
My wallet with a fast, jerking motion
Just right to make him unload in my core.
My heart pierced by lead, drained of emotion.
Though I want it, I won't let it come true,
I don't want my last thought to be of you.

Write now

2008-09-11T12:41:00.003-05:00

I want to write words that will shatter skies,
To speak in pure power, to let loose the
Words that ring so true they murder all lies
And leave in their wake a reason to be.
I want my words recited by heroes
Mustering up the will to save the day.
I want my words in her ears when she knows
The time has come to shed her clothes and play.
I want my words to be a magic wand
That can bring dreams to life and right all wrongs,
That will allow me to escape death's bond
Each time a new soul starts to sing my songs
But before I can make that fire ignite,
I must sit here with pen in hand and write.

Tuesday Morning Burning Man

2008-09-04T14:47:00.004-05:00

She holds her hands high in prayer and sings
Some secret song in a language I don't
Recognize. Her modest meal made of things
Blessed by those motions that I simply won't
Ever fully understand. The secret
Ritual of a bedouin beauty
Who has, ever so briefly, come to sit
In a desert shelter across from me.
I am on a temporary leave from
A life of place and possession, a home
That gives me enough comfort to be numb
To the wide world over which she does roam.
But in that mighty moment she shows me
Something special--another way to be.

I L--- You

2008-08-18T08:54:00.003-05:00

You would be amazed at how much I've changed,
The way that time has molded me into
Someone so new, how I've been rearranged-
Torn completely apart and rebuilt new.
Like a collage with all your favorite
Memories clipped from the photographs whose
Remnants now lay scattered in the dark pit
Of your waste-bin, that you're happy to lose.
Oh I am now unburdened by that past,
Running happily to a tomorrow
Of pure delight and joy. I have surpassed
My wildest dreams, I have cast off sorrow
If you could see me now, you'd know it's true
But it only happened 'cause I left you.

Your Adventure

2008-07-30T10:41:00.004-05:00

The adventure is laid out before you,
Like a table overflowing with the
Finest delicacies. A thousand new
Experiences wait so patiently
For you to take them on, make them your own,
To grow and be enriched in heart and soul,
Then come back home to find you are alone,
That those who stayed behind simply extoll
The virtues of exploring this great world
While staying locked inside their golden cage.
You are open, outstretched, while them are curled
Into themselves, unable to engage.
You'll outgrow them, and you'll outgrow me, too.
I weep, because I cannot be like you.

Bad Games

2008-07-22T10:25:00.004-05:00

Running, his feet pound against the pavement
The sound of his sneaker soles slamming hard
Ground echos off the walls of this cement
Canyon, audible fear filling the yard
Predator instincts find them following
Drawing blades like claws, tasting the pursuit
Like the bile that his throat is swallowing.
They draw close, he tries to find a new route
But all that surrounds him now are the teeth
The blades, the clubs, the dark sound of laughter.
His eyes are drawn to the ground underneath
His feet. His thoughts are on the hereafter.
He chose this, to be attacked and beaten.
He became prey so he would be eaten.

Magic should never be taken seriously

2008-07-17T13:48:00.005-05:00

I want to make something perfectly clear:
I am within my heart-of-hearts a true
Romantic, an absolutely sincere
Believer in the joy love can imbue.
But that doesn't mean I'm not a sinner
Or gatorade for lust -- the thirst quencher.
I don't want to take you out to dinner,
I want to take you on an adventure.
Let serious feelings give way to play
Because we know that pleasure will provide,
And we don't have to have something to say
To feel surprise and wonder deep inside.
So follow me now and follow me quick,
And I'll delight you like a magic trick.

Signalman

2008-07-09T11:53:00.003-05:00

I simply do not understand. What does
It mean when she looks at me with those eyes,
Like two circles of spinning green flame? Was
She saying she wanted me? Was it wise
To make a nonchalant comment, as though
It didn't matter at all, that I think
She shines like a wood nymph in full moon's glow?
Or was that a bit too much? 'Cause the blink
She gave, just a moment too long, seemed to
Indicate that it took her by surprise.
I think. I'm bad at reading signs, so who
Knows what she really thought. I know those eyes
     Are showing me the true state of her mind.
     But I don't understand, and so I'm blind.

     (Next time I'll ask her, and avoid this bind.)

Broken In

2008-07-01T09:09:00.005-05:00

On an ideal summer day, we laid on
An ideal plain. The soft cool grass tickled
The back of your arm as the clouds were drawn
Into wild figures by our minds. I mulled
Over that moment on the day you left,
Remembering your warm breath on my neck
As I swept broken glass away, bereft
Of understanding. I was a huge wreck
For weeks after, trying to comprehend
Your mind, as though I could somehow change it.
But now I no longer need to pretend
The past can be undone, now I admit
A true victory, not some token win.
My heart is not broken, it's broken in.

The Struggle

2008-06-24T14:46:00.004-05:00

It's as though the whole world is against you,
Planting a thousand tiny barbs along
The path you choose to walk, mocking your true
And noble purpose, saying you are wrong
To take a chance, wrong to be different.
They weigh you down with burdens and with shame
And every day finds a new torment
That you fight and bind and finally tame.
For while your heart beats you will not be through
The fire inside you will forever burn.
So yes, the whole world may be against you,
That just means the world has a lot to learn.
You will succeed when all is said and done
Because you are a fucking champion.

July 17, 2008

2008-06-17T10:36:00.006-05:00

When I was feral, I was set apart
Without the hold of civilization
I had no way to fill my empty heart.
No friends, no lovers, no congregation
To welcome me. And so I let them strap
A yoke upon my back and found rapport
With those who shared the space inside our trap
Hid my differences 'till they were no more.
The tamed me, like I told myself they should...
Until the day I saw towering flame
Created by those souls that understood
I can be close without being the same
Now I flaunt my differences, unashamed.
I'm not just feral, I have been untamed.

The Call

2008-06-11T13:06:00.004-05:00

So about last night, let me just explain--
I was walking upside down across this
Filmstrip of E. Marie Saint in a plain
Fur coat and fig leaf, describing pure bliss
To an increasingly bright audience.
I wept openly at the pure beauty
Of a smile shared between strangers, left prints
Of my right pinky toe all over the
Grand statue of the old patriarchy
And around the time I was conversing
With two chalk gods the future said that we
Really needed to call you, coercing
Me into singing "we should copulate"
...I'm sorry I woke you so very late.

Failing Grade

2008-06-03T13:15:00.002-05:00

I'm swimming in the shallow end, trying
To keep my head above water. Kicking
And flailing in stark terror, near crying
Ad the idea that by simply sticking
My feet down I will touch the soft bottom
And save myself from a death by drowning.
But instead I continue to succumb
To the still, silent waters now crowning
My head. Oh all I want to do is scream
For help, to call out to the crowded shore
And find my friends forming a rescue team,
To prove that I am one that they adore.
But I won't call, because I feel such shame.
I did this to myself, to test my name.

Saturday Morning, Flipside

2008-05-29T07:56:00.001-05:00

So,
I got really fucked up at this party
And woke up the next morning with my arms
Around my love. The previous night we
We pilots, navigating past alarms
Faster than the speed of light, holding on
To each other as we danced and kissed and
Shared with a thousand other bright young fawns
Of midnight a moment to understand.
As I lie there in the morning, alone
And holding no one else, I opened my
Eyes and knew--I'm in love. I am my own.
And now, when I look myself in the eye
I can see what many hide on the shelf,
I am worthy of love. I love myself.

Change of Plans 1

2008-05-20T13:42:00.002-05:00

The first time I felt the future, it shook
Me like an earthquake. With a tiny kick
I felt my strategies shatter. It took
My grand escape from me and I felt sick
As all the dead fantasies blew away.
With my hand on her belly I learned that
The world was no longer mine, that new day
Had dawned. My world had a whole new palette
From which I would paint our beautiful life.
Then there was blood on porcelain, panic
As the ambulance took her to the knife
That saved her. That ended the tiny kick.
My stupid youthful plans in time returned,
But after the future they only burned.

On TD

2008-05-19T10:07:00.001-05:00

His mind is a razor, it cuts so clean
Even when the most unexpected thing
Happens he reacts like it was routine,
And all that he says has that perfect ring
Of spontaneity that simply won't
Be learned no matter how hard one may try.
Though he is an old and dear friend I don't
Pretend that he and I are peers. No, my
Mind does not operate on that level.
I will never be as comfortable
With myself as he is when we revel
And my self-worth will never be so full.
But competition was never the plan,
With his friendship, I am a better man.

Sexy Beast

2008-05-16T15:01:00.001-05:00

With shoulders broad and strong I will labor.
A beast of burden constantly striving
To accomplish something for my neighbor.
My body called to serve in my driving
Urge to make my mark on this world with sweat
And pain and muscle and anything that
I might have to give. I will make it yet.
Though don't think that I'm constantly at
Work, that labor is all that sustains me,
Because this beast of burden can partake
In powerful passion as well, you see.
And when I step and make the whole world quake
I know that there's a secret, special pull
Calling out--Will you try to ride this bull?

Moth

2008-05-16T13:19:00.000-05:00

I am a moth, and with my dusty wings
I can explore my world. A tiny blur
That moves without intent around the things
In my environment. Then I see her
And everything is changed. She is the fire
That calls to me in the way she shines.
Her dance of flickering light can inspire
In this humble creature the greatest kinds
Of passion and desire. I am drawn in
And take to flight with but a single aim,
A great purpose that is realized when
I am consumed in her beautiful flame…
Burning up, I have no other wish than
To be a phoenix, and touch her again.